Tag Archives: gentlewoman

Defining a Gentlewoman

A lot of you started to ask me what’s the difference between a stud, boi and a gentlewoman. A gentlewoman is a woman that has discriminating taste in women, fashion, culture and politics. There are dapper studs and bois, but that don’t make them gentlewomen. It’s about how you treat others. It’s opening up a door for your lady. It’s giving up your seat on the subway for the elderly or a pregnant woman.

Ladies, you want to know if you have a boi or a gentlewoman. Here are a few rules a gentlewoman will follow:

  1. A gentlewoman doesn’t want a relationship with gender roles. We both work. We both clean. We both spoil each other.
  2. She wants you to make decisions. Don’t be wishy-washy. If you want to hang out with her, you can call her, too. She doesn’t alway want to make the first move.
  3. She’s a womanist. She doesn’t hate men. She believe in equality in work pay. She believes the woman not the government should control her body (and what she does with it).
  4. A ‘boi’ make her girl jealous of other women. A gentlewoman makes other women jealous of her woman.
  5. Any woman can sex you, feed you and buy you stuff. But it takes a gentlewoman to help you become a better person to build with you and work with you in building a better life together.
  6. Sending a woman a text that says “Good morning, beautiful” can change her attitude for the rest of the day.
  7. She doesn’t have time to play with you. A gentlewoman never leads her on if you knows nothing’s going to happen. She’s honest and straightforward.
  8. Don’t tell her lies just to spare her feelings. She’d rather know the truth now rather than finding out later.
  9. She expects you to actively listen to her as she will do the same for you.
  10. When on the date with you, she’ll have her phone on silent. No social media. No text messages. No phone calls unless it’s an emergency. (I struggle with this one! I have to be present with my lady especially during our quality time.)
  11. She’ll call you out the blue just to hear your voice. She’ll respond to your text in a timely manner.
  12. She’s spontaneous. Just be ready for adventure.
  13. A gentlewoman doesn’t make a promise if they’re going to break it.
  14. She believes in chivalry. Chivalry is a beautiful, genuine thing. It will never die.
  15. A real gentlewoman’s treatment of her girl never fades. She doesn’t treat her right for a few months and then stops. A true gentlewoman keeps her smiling.
  16. A gentlewoman knows to keep things good and bad between each other. She does not want everybody in your business.

Everyone is not a gentlewoman. Gentlewomen are not perfect, but we are trying to be the best version of ourselves. Do you agree with my definition of a gentlewoman? If not, how would you define a gentlewoman?

Introducing M.R. Mason

Q & A with M.R. Mason

TGR: Name

MM: M. R. Mason

TGR: What is your relationship status? (If single, are you looking?)

MM: I am in a relationship with a beautiful woman (inside and out).

TGR: What is the definition of a gentlewoman to you?

MM: I believe that being a gentlewoman is a lifestyle.  I think respect and chivalry are at the core of that title.  She is someone who is always mindful of others, especially women, and selfless in her actions.  A gentlewoman is genuinely considerate, a generous provider, a fearless protector, and an unconditional lover.

TGR: Do you consider yourself a gentlewoman? Why or why not?

MM: I absolutely consider myself a gentlewoman.  I pride myself on being chivalrous and respectful to all women.  When in a relationship, I am constantly thinking of ways to make my lady feel like the queen that she is.  As a dominant woman, I welcome the role of being a protector and provider.  I’ll do whatever it takes to make her feel safe and secure, as well as be the financial breadwinner in the relationship.  And although I maintain a role of dominance, I have also not lost all aspects of my femininity, especially sensitivity and compassion. It’s a very fine line that many can’t master that’s why I believe not all ags/bois/studs are able to wear the title of a gentlewoman.

TGR: Have you always been into fashion and style?

MM: Yes, I have always been into fashion and style. I remember EVERY Friday when I as a child my mother would take my sister and I to JC Penny’s and Hudson’s to shop for trendy, fashionable clothes. During my early years, my mother instilled in us the importance of being well dressed, neat, and clean. This life lesson has surely stuck with me throughout my 32 years.

TGR: How would you describe your personal style?

MM: I’d describe my personal style as classy, simple, versatile, tasteful, and distinguished.   My style from day to day mainly depends on my mood and/or the occasion.   One day you’ll see me dressed in my “urban gear” which could vary from timbs and denims to j’s and drop crotch cargos.  The next day you may see me in my “prep wear” such as a polo shirt with khakis to a casual button down shirt and loafers.  Or the following day you may see me wearing “sophisticated attire” which may consist of an ascot, full suit, and wingtip shoes.  For me, every day is a new fashion adventure!

TGR:As a Christian, African-American lesbian I believe I am obligated to be an example to the LGBTQ community.  Unfortunately, our society has taught us to be ashamed of our sexuality and lifestyle, especially as it relates to spirituality. Sadly, this type of brainwashing has caused a lot of our LGBTQ brothers and sisters to run from the Source of ALL existence – JESUS! I’ve always tried to live my life in a way that when people look at me they see the goodness of GOD first, and then they see my pride in being African American and lesbian.  I pray that my light shines in everything I say and do and encourages someone to come/come back to JESUS!

TGR: Favorite quote

MM: My favorite quote is “To whom much is given…much is expected!” This quote always reminds me of the responsibility that my voice, my actions, and life carry. It inspires me to always be my best because my life is not about me, but it is about serving GOD by Blessing HIS people whom have placed great faith and trust upon me.

TGR: Favorite book of all-time

MM: My favorite book of all-time is The Bible.  The Bible has always been a lamp to my feet as I walk on this journey called life.   Despite my opinion that some things in The Bible don’t necessarily apply today, I do believe it is the greatest book ever written!

TGR: Name 5 of your top musical artists

MM: Keyshia Cole, Jessica Reedy, TLC, Luther Vandross, and Notorious B.I.G.

Introducing Charlene Cruse (Yung Crusay)

Q & A with Charlene Cruse aka Yung Crusay

TGR:  Name
YC: Charlene Cruse AKA Yung Crusay

TGR: Relationship Status
YC: Single.

TGR: What are important qualities to you in a mate? 
YC: Honesty, loyalty, vulnerability, spirituality.

TGR: What is the definition of a gentlewoman to you?

YC: A gentlewoman to me is a female who is a bit masculine and knows how to carry herself with dignity & pride about who she is.

TGR:  Do you consider yourself a gentlewoman? Why or why not?
YC: I definitely do, from the way that I carry myself to the way that I dress.

TGR: How would you describe your personal style?
YC: My street style all depends on the season. With the spring coming, I am trying to bring more color into my wardrobe. The colored pants and button up tops (not a polo fan). When the summer comes, I’m a tank and cargos type depending on the setting. On stage, my style is all about supporting local and unknown brands. Usually a sponsor tee.

TGR: Have you always been into fashion and style?
YC: I just recently got into fashion and style when clothing sponsors started picking me up. So many are fascinated by a masculine woman so they love to play dress up. I just started feeding off of them as well as hanging out backstage at runway shows.

TGR: Why does your presence/voice matter?
YC: My voice matters because I try to deliver a message through my music. Throughout my new visuals I want people to see that its okay to be you. You don’t have to pretend. Our generation needs a voice that says “f*ck social media standards, i want to be me!”

TGR:  Favorite quote
YC: “I have set The Lord always before me: because He is at my right hand, I shall not be moved.” Psalm 16:8

TGR: Favorite book of all-time
YC: Do You by Russell Simmons

TGR: Name 5 of your favorite artists.

Janet Jackson, Prince, Jay-Z, Jhene Aiko, George Clinton & Parliament

Introducing Michelle Daly

Q & A with Michelle Daly

TGR: What is the definition of a gentlewoman to you?

MD: A gentlewoman is the modern definition of style and class with in the lesbian world.  She straddles the lines of gender leaning more towards masculine.  She takes care of her lady.  Chivalrous, gallant, and extraordinarily attentive are just a few of her characteristics.  The new gentlewoman defines the “New Rules”: Informed from the past but pushing forward to the future.

TGR: Do you consider yourself a gentlewoman? Why or why not?

MD: I do consider myself a gentlewoman.  I am the BOI within my relationship and enjoy playing the more dominant role.  I enjoy doing all of the little chivalrous things for my woman, from opening car doors, to walking her to her door, and taking her on proper dates.  Born and raised on the east coast, I have the old school rules of engagement ingrained in me.  I see the world through that lens.

TGR: Do you think you have to walk differently in the world as a masculine-identified woman?

MD: I personally don’t walk any differently than I would on a regular basis.  I am confident in the way that I look, whether I’m dressed more masculine one day.  I try to just be who I want to be on a daily basis.

TGR: Have you always been into fashion and style?

MD: Yes!  Fashion and style are extremely important to me.  I feel that first impressions are everything.  I also feel that you will only attract what you put forth into the universe.  Dressing up is good manners, as Tom Ford says.

TGR: How would you describe your personal style?

MD: I would describe my personal style as an east coast dapper/preppy with a touch of edge.  I like to dress very tailored.

TGR: Why does your presence/voice matter?

MD: As a community organizer of the lesbian nightlife in Austin, Texas, I try to set a positive example for all of the other gay women in the community.  Organizing events has created some cohesion within the lesbian community here in Austin.  It’s important to be able to rely on other women in the community for advice and support, specifically now with the marriage equality movement across the United States.

Introducing Meaghan Schlifke

Q&A with Meaghan Schlifke

TGR: What is your definition of a gentlewoman?
MS: I think a gentlewoman is a woman who carries herself with confidence. She has manners. She is never arrogant but she knows who she is. She always treats other with respect, acceptance, and kindness. She is silently strong and is respected by those she meets.

TGR: Do you consider yourself a gentlewoman? Why or why not?
MS: I do consider myself a gentlewoman. I believe deeply the chivalry is NOT dead and that it is not strictly reserved for men. I try to carry myself in such a way that my presence commands respect but never intimidation.

TGR: Do you think you have to walk differently in the world as a masculine-identified woman?
MS: I don’t know that I necessarily identify myself as a masculine-identified female. I’ve never really liked to put labels on myself. I’m just me and I walk through life by my own standards and virtues.

TGR: Have you always been into fashion and style?
MS: Yes, absolutely. I believe dressing well is a form of good manners. My style and what I choose to wear is a visual representation of who I am.

TGR: How would you describe your personal style?
MS: I wear what I like. I always have. Regardless of what anyone else thinks. Comfort plays a large role in what I choose to wear. I do however love to dress up. I love details; buttons, jacket linings, fabrics, patterns, all of it. The more I like what I’m wearing, the more confident I feel and confidence never goes out of style.

TGR: Why does your presence/voice matter?
MS: I think the world needs more strong, positive women. I feel like if I personally and the way I live my life can positively impact someone’s life then it’s all worth it. I believe everyone is intertwined in the fabric of life so all of our voices matter.