Tag Archives: masculine identified

Defining a Gentlewoman

A lot of you started to ask me what’s the difference between a stud, boi and a gentlewoman. A gentlewoman is a woman that has discriminating taste in women, fashion, culture and politics. There are dapper studs and bois, but that don’t make them gentlewomen. It’s about how you treat others. It’s opening up a door for your lady. It’s giving up your seat on the subway for the elderly or a pregnant woman.

Ladies, you want to know if you have a boi or a gentlewoman. Here are a few rules a gentlewoman will follow:

  1. A gentlewoman doesn’t want a relationship with gender roles. We both work. We both clean. We both spoil each other.
  2. She wants you to make decisions. Don’t be wishy-washy. If you want to hang out with her, you can call her, too. She doesn’t alway want to make the first move.
  3. She’s a womanist. She doesn’t hate men. She believe in equality in work pay. She believes the woman not the government should control her body (and what she does with it).
  4. A ‘boi’ make her girl jealous of other women. A gentlewoman makes other women jealous of her woman.
  5. Any woman can sex you, feed you and buy you stuff. But it takes a gentlewoman to help you become a better person to build with you and work with you in building a better life together.
  6. Sending a woman a text that says “Good morning, beautiful” can change her attitude for the rest of the day.
  7. She doesn’t have time to play with you. A gentlewoman never leads her on if you knows nothing’s going to happen. She’s honest and straightforward.
  8. Don’t tell her lies just to spare her feelings. She’d rather know the truth now rather than finding out later.
  9. She expects you to actively listen to her as she will do the same for you.
  10. When on the date with you, she’ll have her phone on silent. No social media. No text messages. No phone calls unless it’s an emergency. (I struggle with this one! I have to be present with my lady especially during our quality time.)
  11. She’ll call you out the blue just to hear your voice. She’ll respond to your text in a timely manner.
  12. She’s spontaneous. Just be ready for adventure.
  13. A gentlewoman doesn’t make a promise if they’re going to break it.
  14. She believes in chivalry. Chivalry is a beautiful, genuine thing. It will never die.
  15. A real gentlewoman’s treatment of her girl never fades. She doesn’t treat her right for a few months and then stops. A true gentlewoman keeps her smiling.
  16. A gentlewoman knows to keep things good and bad between each other. She does not want everybody in your business.

Everyone is not a gentlewoman. Gentlewomen are not perfect, but we are trying to be the best version of ourselves. Do you agree with my definition of a gentlewoman? If not, how would you define a gentlewoman?

A Gentlewoman’s Guide to Affordable Yet Stylish Clothing

When talking about fashion and style, many seem to think you have to spend their whole paycheck. Not at all. As Stacy London, fashion consultant warns: “Never confuse fashion and style. Fashion relies on unattainable looks on women with unrealistic bodies. Style is about utilizing the best aspects of you.” Style is about finding what looks best of you and showing it to the world. Style is not what you can’t wear. It’s about what you can wear with swag.

Here at The Gentlewoman Redefined we want you to look YOUR best not like the Instagram pages of shedoeshim, adapperchick or sheagent. We want you to find what works for you and rock it for the world to see. It’s about what suits you (pun intended).

We all want to look good. You’ve lost a little weight, and your clothes don’t fit anymore? You’ve want a more mature look? You want to change your style a little? But you don’t want to break the bank? This is for you.

Let’s venture away from your old faithfuls of Old Navy, Gap, Banana Republic, Abercrombie & Fitch, and check out these online retailers. Those old faithfuls are cool to get a piece here or there, but you don’t want to look like a clone. It’s time to step it up when you’re stepping out and transform from a boi to a gentlwoman.

Here are a few online retailers we’ve found online that offer affordable yet stylish fashion: 6PM, Bluefly, Century 21, DSW, Gilt, H&M, Jack Threads and Uniqlo.


At 6PM, a subsidiary of Zappos, you can find all of your favorite brands in one place for 20-65%. Go on a daily guilt-free shopping spree as your indulge in the brands you love. You can find 7 For All Mankind and Seven7 jeans, Cole Haan and Versace shoes, Robert Graham and Just Cavalli button down shirts and Nike activewear for the low.


If you want to upgrade to gentlewoman status, check out Bluefly for deals in suits. Bluffly carries over 350 brands at discounts of 20 – 75%. If you’re looking for quality without killing your pockets, check out this website.

century 21

Century 21 is a department store that features designer merchandise what 40-65% off retail every day.


Designer Shoe Warehouse is the place to go for great brands at a great value every day. With thousands of shoes for men in over 400 stores nationwide, DSW is about the thrill of finding the perfect shoe at the perfect price. To top it all off, DSW Rewards means shopping comes with perks-members ear points toward $10 Rewards certificates every time they shop.


Gilt Groupe is a members-only site for sales. New sales last 36 to 48 hours and feature merchandise from a single brand or small groups of brands. Savings are up to 60% off the suggested retail price. Quantities are very limited, but you can preview items prior to sales launch.


H&M actually has a design team that creates sustainable fashion for all, always at the best price. H&M is modern, timeless, tactile and functional. Exploring the concept of style over fashion, you can find fashion pieces for the contemporary wardrobe. High-end design and quality are brought to everyone.

JackThreadsLogoAt Jack Threads they believe that looking great and feeling better shouldn’t be a chore and that a good-looking suit for your 9 to 5 shouldn’t force you to get a second job from 5 to 9. Everyday they feature a broad range of products that they can stand behind.


Uniqlo is Japan’s leading clothing retailer of casual wear. Its clothing designs become hot trends, for its team continuously monitors the latest fashion trends and styles.

But like everything, it’s how you wear it not what you wear that makes these clothes stylish.

If you know of any online retailers that can help your style and pocketbook, let us know. We want to hear from you.

It’s Time to Check Out The Internet

Last week my little (figuratively speaking) brother (actually just younger for he’s not so little anymore) asked me if I heard the latest The Internet album. Who? I’d never heard of The Internet. As I’ve gotten older I spend less and less time looking for new artists and new music. But if you haven’t heard of them, you should check them out. You’ll be happy that you did.

Ego DeathWith a little research on the Internet (Google and Wikipedia are useful), The Internet originally formed fours years ago as a side project for then Odd Future’s DJ/now The Internet’s lead  vocalist Syd Tha Kid and producer Matt Martians. With the single, “Long Song-1”, The Internet and its sound was introduced to the world. A few months later Purple Naked Ladies was released, creating a R&B hybrid of jazz, trip-hop, neo-soul and hip-hop. The Internet started as a duo but evolved into a full band with the addition of Patrick Paige II, Christopher Allan Smith, Jameel Bruner, and Tim Lancer.

Like Foreign Exchange, Janelle Monáe and fellow Odd Future’s brethren Frank Ocean before them, The Internet uses R&B as the bases but also draws influences from jazz, trip-hop and hip-hop. The Internet reminds us why we love R&B a musical commentary of relationships. But what’s different (maybe revolutionary) is Syd Tha Kid, a masculine of center lesbian sings directly to the women of her affection. In past interviews Syd Tha Kid downplays the importance of ‘gayness’ in her lyrics. She is comfortable with who she is, but she does not want it to overshadow The Internet and their music.

On June 30, 2015, The Internet released their third studio album, Ego Death. The result is enough to make a cynic fall in love with R&B again. Especially if you’re tired of listening to same ol’ R&B of Trey Songz or Chris Brown, please check out Ego Death as a healthy alternative. When you fall in love with that album, do yourself a favor and check out the first two albums, Purple Naked Ladies and Feel Good. You’ll hear the progress as artists and Syd Tha Kid’s vocals. In a nonconformist nature, The Internet identifies with an Afropunk alternative of R&B that draws from their blackness and their appreciation for an eclectic musical influences such as Kate Bush, Meshell Ndegeocello, The Roots and Bjork.

But it’s Syd Tha Kid’s unapologetic and honest lyrics that is the album’s strength. In songs, “Get Away” and “Under Control” the protagonist is trying to ease the her lover’s insecurities as she gets attention from others. With “Just Sayin’/I Tried” she slams a former lover by repeating “You fucked up” but feels at ease because she did everything she could to try to save the relationship. “Special Affair” is a playa anthem as a scenario of when you see a beautiful lady in the club you want and what you would say to her.  “Girl”, the album’s Kaytranada-assisted song is a sweet ode to a ‘girl’ that she deserves better than she is currently receiving, for all she has to do “tell ‘em you’re my girl/And anything you want is yours.”

Yes, it’s obvious Syd Tha Kid is a lesbian, but her lyrics are about human emotions of love, loss and lust. When it comes to love, we have to let go of our ego. Therefore, there is an ‘ego death’ for love to exist. Syd Tha Kid reminds us that you have to be honest with yourself and the person you want to have the authentic connection with that ‘Girl’. That is probably why anyone can relate to her storytelling.

What’s remarkable is that The Internet are just being unapologetically themselves. Syd Tha Kid can sing to women without fanfare from the LGBTQ community. Their music can transcend R&B and dabble into something familiar yet different. They can be a band of black kids who loves futuristic sounds of techno and trip hop while remaining true to their R&B and hip-hop base. Basically, they can be beautifully human and put out good music. Let’s continue to follow The Internet and get rid of our egos and just be free to be ourselves.

Introducing Charlene Cruse (Yung Crusay)

Q & A with Charlene Cruse aka Yung Crusay

TGR:  Name
YC: Charlene Cruse AKA Yung Crusay

TGR: Relationship Status
YC: Single.

TGR: What are important qualities to you in a mate? 
YC: Honesty, loyalty, vulnerability, spirituality.

TGR: What is the definition of a gentlewoman to you?

YC: A gentlewoman to me is a female who is a bit masculine and knows how to carry herself with dignity & pride about who she is.

TGR:  Do you consider yourself a gentlewoman? Why or why not?
YC: I definitely do, from the way that I carry myself to the way that I dress.

TGR: How would you describe your personal style?
YC: My street style all depends on the season. With the spring coming, I am trying to bring more color into my wardrobe. The colored pants and button up tops (not a polo fan). When the summer comes, I’m a tank and cargos type depending on the setting. On stage, my style is all about supporting local and unknown brands. Usually a sponsor tee.

TGR: Have you always been into fashion and style?
YC: I just recently got into fashion and style when clothing sponsors started picking me up. So many are fascinated by a masculine woman so they love to play dress up. I just started feeding off of them as well as hanging out backstage at runway shows.

TGR: Why does your presence/voice matter?
YC: My voice matters because I try to deliver a message through my music. Throughout my new visuals I want people to see that its okay to be you. You don’t have to pretend. Our generation needs a voice that says “f*ck social media standards, i want to be me!”

TGR:  Favorite quote
YC: “I have set The Lord always before me: because He is at my right hand, I shall not be moved.” Psalm 16:8

TGR: Favorite book of all-time
YC: Do You by Russell Simmons

TGR: Name 5 of your favorite artists.

Janet Jackson, Prince, Jay-Z, Jhene Aiko, George Clinton & Parliament

Introducing Meaghan Schlifke

Q&A with Meaghan Schlifke

TGR: What is your definition of a gentlewoman?
MS: I think a gentlewoman is a woman who carries herself with confidence. She has manners. She is never arrogant but she knows who she is. She always treats other with respect, acceptance, and kindness. She is silently strong and is respected by those she meets.

TGR: Do you consider yourself a gentlewoman? Why or why not?
MS: I do consider myself a gentlewoman. I believe deeply the chivalry is NOT dead and that it is not strictly reserved for men. I try to carry myself in such a way that my presence commands respect but never intimidation.

TGR: Do you think you have to walk differently in the world as a masculine-identified woman?
MS: I don’t know that I necessarily identify myself as a masculine-identified female. I’ve never really liked to put labels on myself. I’m just me and I walk through life by my own standards and virtues.

TGR: Have you always been into fashion and style?
MS: Yes, absolutely. I believe dressing well is a form of good manners. My style and what I choose to wear is a visual representation of who I am.

TGR: How would you describe your personal style?
MS: I wear what I like. I always have. Regardless of what anyone else thinks. Comfort plays a large role in what I choose to wear. I do however love to dress up. I love details; buttons, jacket linings, fabrics, patterns, all of it. The more I like what I’m wearing, the more confident I feel and confidence never goes out of style.

TGR: Why does your presence/voice matter?
MS: I think the world needs more strong, positive women. I feel like if I personally and the way I live my life can positively impact someone’s life then it’s all worth it. I believe everyone is intertwined in the fabric of life so all of our voices matter.