Tag Archives: relationships

10 Rules for a Gentlewoman in Being in a Healthy Relationship

I.

“The way you treat yourself sets the standard for others.” –Sonya Friedman

Pay attention to your relationship with yourself. True love comes from within. You will never be satisfied with someone else’s love. If you don’t love yourself, you cannot expect anyone else to love you. The way you treat myself shows others how you expect to be treated. Therefore, self-love is first and foremost.

II.

“The wrong person makes you beg for attention, affection, love and commitment. The right person gives you these things because they love you.” –Sonya Parker

A gentlewoman never stops trying to show her woman how much she means to her even after she already has her. Affection is not just kissing and touching. Affection is having great stimulating conversations about love, life, anything and everything. Affection is not bound by any obligations or barred by any human limitations. It is to speak without regret or fear or consequence. Affection is about giving the time to show the other person how much they matter to you.

III.

“I don’t want the perfect relationship because perfect is impossible. I want trustworthy, honest, loyal and love. I love imperfections. I don’t want perfect. I want worth it.”-Unknown

In a relationship, honesty and trust must exist. If they don’t, there’s no point of loving. So if you can’t afford to be honest, stay single. We often are not honest because we do not want someone to see our imperfections. Guess what? No one’s perfect. But you can be honest. A gentlewoman is honest and trustworthy in her thoughts, words and action. We tell the truth and keep our promises.

IV.

“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.” –Leo Buscaglia

A gentlewoman writes handwritten letters to her lady and sends them in the mail. She buys flowers for her lady just because she’s thinking of her. She cooks for her lady after her lady has had a long day at work. A gentlewoman knows never to stop the little things for her lady, for those little things make her feel wanted. Basically, a gentlewoman knows she has to consistently do the things that got her lady to keep her.

V.

“A healthy relationship will never require you to sacrifice your friends, your dreams or your dignity.” –Mandy Hale

A gentlewoman knows that she has to have passions and friendships outside of her girlfriend. Anyone has to be in control of their own happiness. You have to nurture your circle of friends outside of your relationship. You cannot drop your friends just because you’re in a relationship. Being happy with yourself builds confidence. You can enjoy your time with your partner, enjoy your time with your friends and enjoy your time alone. It’s about living interdependently. Another key to being in a healthy relationship is get a life that is yours.

VI.

“No relationship is all sunshine, but two people can share one umbrella and survive the storm together.” –Unknown

A gentlewoman understands that all relationships have its ups and downs. The difference between a successful relationship and a break-up is that the couple decides that each other is worth the fight. The concept of constant bliss is something made up in Hollywood. It’s not real. What’s real is dealing with bad days, being mentally and physically tired, financial stress and draining emotions. It’s called being human.

VII.

“Your only obligation in any lifetime is to be true to yourself.” –Richard Bach

A gentlewoman understands that she needs a woman who she can be her authentically herself with. It’s learning how to be vulnerable to allow someone to see the real ‘you’.

VIII.

“When you truly love someone, you don’t judge them by their past. You accept it and leave it there.” -Unknown

The truth is that the more intimately you know someone, the more clearly you’ll see their flaws. That’s just the way it is. You might think you love someone until they go outside your box. A gentlewoman understands that love means accepting your lady’s faults and insecurities and loving them anyway and making it through life’s challenges together.

*Disclaimer: This does not mean you stay in an abusive relationship (mental or physical). This means you accept them for their flaws as they are not perfect. So don’t place anyone on a pedestal that they can come crashing down.

IX.

no cell phones at dinner

A gentlewoman leaves her cell phone in the car when she takes her lady to dinner. She does not want anything to divert her attention from her lady. She understands that each time she is with her lady is a time to connect and be present.

X.

“Why should a relationship mean settling down? Wait out for someone who won’t let life escape you, who’ll challenge you and drive you toward your dreams. Someone spontaneous you can get lost in the world with. A relationship, with the right person, is a release not a restriction.” –Beau Taplin

A gentlewoman does not want to settle into a mundane home life with her lady. She wants to travel with her lady around the world. She wants her lady to fulfill her dreams with and without her. She wants to fulfill her own dreams and passions. She wants to dance like no one is watching. She wants to constantly challenge herself and her lady to be better than the day before.

Why SIYA’s New Mixtape ‘What Never Happened’ is DOPE!

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I’ve continuously listened to this mixtape for about 3 days straight. All I can say is that it is dope. From her life as a dealer to her creating her own lane in the music industry SIYA takes you a rollercoaster ride of  life, love, lost, and dopeness while being true to who she is.

SIYA joined the world renowned DJ Skee to deliver the dope mixtape, What Never Happened. You are a dope if you don’t listen to this mixtape, her follow-up to “Better Late Than Never”. Every mixtape SIYA releases is a glimpse in the life of Michele Sherman (her government name). This one is no different.

In “1997” she reminisces about growing up making references to the rappers who were popular in that year like Biggie, Jay Z and Big Pun as she raps about her experiences as a dope dealer. She doesn’t glorify her life as a dope dealer, but she introspectively verses about her former life as what she knew. In “Judge Me” SIYA flows about her haters, how they don’t know her to judge her and gives you a glimpse of her struggles as an independent artist in the public eye.

But it’s her lyrical prowess laced with straightforward honest that separates SIYA from other rappers. Like MC Lyte in her highlight SIYA cannot be compared to any female mainstream rapper. Not Nicki Minaj. Not Dej Loaf. Not Iggy Azalea. SIYA is creating her own lane in this music industry. In “Industry Interlude” SIYA talks about industry rule #4080 of ‘the record company people are shady!” A sample of DMX’s discontent with the music industry plays as she flows about the hypocrisy of the music industry and how she’s circumventing the conventional way of making money by ghostwriting for other rappers and doing shows for her fans.

Yes, SIYA’s openly lesbian, but as she raps about the ups and downs of her relationships, anyone can connect with the lyrics. For her experiences are universal. In “You Know That” SIYA raps about a complicated love where she messed up and want her back. But in “Know Better” she talks about giving her all to a girl who doesn’t deserve it. In “La’Golden” she speaks about loving that special woman. We’ve all been there no matter what our sexual orientation is.

The bottomline is SIYA continues to make her lane by putting out real dope music. Even though she can be introspective and sensitive, she still shows her street side in songs, “Come Get Your Bitch” and “Real Nigga Business”. Thus, giving this mixtape a balance between mainstream and hardcore rap which is rare in today’s hip-hop music.

SIYA is definitely on a mission to be heard and be recognized beyond Sisterhood of Hip-Hop reality season. The unconventional tutelage of R&B singer-songwriter, Tank, doped SIYA up to take on the music industry. Tank has helped SIYA to navigate the music industry while being authentic to herself.

Unlike the previous mixtape Better Late Than Never which featured big stars like Chris Brown and Problem, SIYA (and her talent) is at the center of attention. You should check out this mixtape below to hear SIYA’s progression as an artist and a human being.