Tag Archives: stud

Defining a Gentlewoman

A lot of you started to ask me what’s the difference between a stud, boi and a gentlewoman. A gentlewoman is a woman that has discriminating taste in women, fashion, culture and politics. There are dapper studs and bois, but that don’t make them gentlewomen. It’s about how you treat others. It’s opening up a door for your lady. It’s giving up your seat on the subway for the elderly or a pregnant woman.

Ladies, you want to know if you have a boi or a gentlewoman. Here are a few rules a gentlewoman will follow:

  1. A gentlewoman doesn’t want a relationship with gender roles. We both work. We both clean. We both spoil each other.
  2. She wants you to make decisions. Don’t be wishy-washy. If you want to hang out with her, you can call her, too. She doesn’t alway want to make the first move.
  3. She’s a womanist. She doesn’t hate men. She believe in equality in work pay. She believes the woman not the government should control her body (and what she does with it).
  4. A ‘boi’ make her girl jealous of other women. A gentlewoman makes other women jealous of her woman.
  5. Any woman can sex you, feed you and buy you stuff. But it takes a gentlewoman to help you become a better person to build with you and work with you in building a better life together.
  6. Sending a woman a text that says “Good morning, beautiful” can change her attitude for the rest of the day.
  7. She doesn’t have time to play with you. A gentlewoman never leads her on if you knows nothing’s going to happen. She’s honest and straightforward.
  8. Don’t tell her lies just to spare her feelings. She’d rather know the truth now rather than finding out later.
  9. She expects you to actively listen to her as she will do the same for you.
  10. When on the date with you, she’ll have her phone on silent. No social media. No text messages. No phone calls unless it’s an emergency. (I struggle with this one! I have to be present with my lady especially during our quality time.)
  11. She’ll call you out the blue just to hear your voice. She’ll respond to your text in a timely manner.
  12. She’s spontaneous. Just be ready for adventure.
  13. A gentlewoman doesn’t make a promise if they’re going to break it.
  14. She believes in chivalry. Chivalry is a beautiful, genuine thing. It will never die.
  15. A real gentlewoman’s treatment of her girl never fades. She doesn’t treat her right for a few months and then stops. A true gentlewoman keeps her smiling.
  16. A gentlewoman knows to keep things good and bad between each other. She does not want everybody in your business.

Everyone is not a gentlewoman. Gentlewomen are not perfect, but we are trying to be the best version of ourselves. Do you agree with my definition of a gentlewoman? If not, how would you define a gentlewoman?

Why SIYA’s New Mixtape ‘What Never Happened’ is DOPE!

IMG_2225

I’ve continuously listened to this mixtape for about 3 days straight. All I can say is that it is dope. From her life as a dealer to her creating her own lane in the music industry SIYA takes you a rollercoaster ride of  life, love, lost, and dopeness while being true to who she is.

SIYA joined the world renowned DJ Skee to deliver the dope mixtape, What Never Happened. You are a dope if you don’t listen to this mixtape, her follow-up to “Better Late Than Never”. Every mixtape SIYA releases is a glimpse in the life of Michele Sherman (her government name). This one is no different.

In “1997” she reminisces about growing up making references to the rappers who were popular in that year like Biggie, Jay Z and Big Pun as she raps about her experiences as a dope dealer. She doesn’t glorify her life as a dope dealer, but she introspectively verses about her former life as what she knew. In “Judge Me” SIYA flows about her haters, how they don’t know her to judge her and gives you a glimpse of her struggles as an independent artist in the public eye.

But it’s her lyrical prowess laced with straightforward honest that separates SIYA from other rappers. Like MC Lyte in her highlight SIYA cannot be compared to any female mainstream rapper. Not Nicki Minaj. Not Dej Loaf. Not Iggy Azalea. SIYA is creating her own lane in this music industry. In “Industry Interlude” SIYA talks about industry rule #4080 of ‘the record company people are shady!” A sample of DMX’s discontent with the music industry plays as she flows about the hypocrisy of the music industry and how she’s circumventing the conventional way of making money by ghostwriting for other rappers and doing shows for her fans.

Yes, SIYA’s openly lesbian, but as she raps about the ups and downs of her relationships, anyone can connect with the lyrics. For her experiences are universal. In “You Know That” SIYA raps about a complicated love where she messed up and want her back. But in “Know Better” she talks about giving her all to a girl who doesn’t deserve it. In “La’Golden” she speaks about loving that special woman. We’ve all been there no matter what our sexual orientation is.

The bottomline is SIYA continues to make her lane by putting out real dope music. Even though she can be introspective and sensitive, she still shows her street side in songs, “Come Get Your Bitch” and “Real Nigga Business”. Thus, giving this mixtape a balance between mainstream and hardcore rap which is rare in today’s hip-hop music.

SIYA is definitely on a mission to be heard and be recognized beyond Sisterhood of Hip-Hop reality season. The unconventional tutelage of R&B singer-songwriter, Tank, doped SIYA up to take on the music industry. Tank has helped SIYA to navigate the music industry while being authentic to herself.

Unlike the previous mixtape Better Late Than Never which featured big stars like Chris Brown and Problem, SIYA (and her talent) is at the center of attention. You should check out this mixtape below to hear SIYA’s progression as an artist and a human being.

Introducing Reese Harper of Harper Associates

TGR: Name & Nickname

RH: Sheresse Reneé Harper but I go by Reese


TGR: Relationship Status

RH: Single but dating someone.


TGR: What is the definition of a gentlewoman to you?

RH: A gentlewomen is a DISTINCTIVE woman who stands out in a group full of women. A woman who is very particular and meticulous about herself and those around her. A gentlewomen treats her wife/girlfriend and/or human beings with a bedside manner that is unmistakable and leaves a lasting breathtaking impression of people.


TGR: Do you consider yourself a gentlewoman? Why or why not?

RH: I consider myself a gentlewoman without sounding vain, my presence alone leaves a refreshing mark on everyone I encounter. I consider myself to be very respectful, strong, gentle, thoughtful, very distinctive and I have a bedside manner that makes everyone very comforted and safe when I am around.


TGR: How would you describe your personal style?

RH: My personal style is very meek and humble yet humorous and breathtaking.


TGR: Have you always been into fashion and style?

RH: I have always been into fashion and style. It is one of my characteristics that make me distinctive.


TGR: Why does your presence/voice matter?

RH: My presence and voice matters because I have always had a very strong influence and voice within the city of New Orleans. I am very liberal and possess one of the most important traits a person can have and that’s integrity. I’m well known in both the professional and social when in the city.


TGR: Favorite quote

RH: My favorite quote is a biblical scripture. I can do all things through Christ that strengthens me. Philippians 4:13


TGR: Favorite book of all-time

RH: Sun Tzu’s The Art of War.


TGR: Name 5 of your favorite musical artists.

RH: Sam Cooke, Vivian Green, Sebastian Michael, Usher and Smokie Norful


If you want to find out more about Reese, you can check her out at:

FACEBOOK: /HARPERASSOCIATES

INSTAGRAM: @REECO_ISME  or @HARPERASSOCIATES

Introducing Courtney ‘Spiff’ Waite

TGR: Name & Nickname

CW: Courtney Waite Nickname: Spiff


TGR: Relationship Status

CW: Single


TGR: What is the definition of a gentlewoman to you?

CW: A gentlewoman is a woman who is aware of the dominance within her but coincidentally is not diminishing the fact that she is a woman.


TGR: Do you consider yourself a gentlewoman? Why or why not?

CW: I consider myself a gentlewoman. It’s a lot of different women out there but not many are into suits and what society deems at “menswear.”


TGR: How would you describe your personal style?

CW: My personal style is just being comfortable in doing something that you vision in your head. Most of the time I have an idea of an outfit in my mind and If my wardrobe persists with the necessary items to complete this vision, then I make it happen and wear it.


TGR: Have you always been into fashion and style?

CW: I’ve always like style and fashion but was confined to a box that I put myself into. With age I grew aware of interests I did not know were there and I begin to take advantage of those interests.


TGR: Why does your presence/voice matter?

CW: I believe my presence matters because it is genuine and not generic. My voice matter as it is similar to those who wish to say things I say but are afraid.


TGR: Favorite quote

CW: “I don’t care about what people think, because people don’t think” -Kanye West. People only make sense of the things that they like.


TGR: Favorite book of all-time

CW: Rich Dad, Poor Dad by Robert T. Kiyosaki


TGR: Name 5 of your favorite musical artists.

CW: Maxwell, Musiq Soulchild, Adam Levine, Keith Sweat and Ronald Isley.


TGR: What are important qualities to you in a mate?

CW: Your mate should always be willing to listen. They should encourage you and motivate you when you have new ideas and push you when you become stagnant.

Introducing M.R. Mason

Q & A with M.R. Mason

TGR: Name

MM: M. R. Mason


TGR: What is your relationship status? (If single, are you looking?)

MM: I am in a relationship with a beautiful woman (inside and out).


TGR: What is the definition of a gentlewoman to you?

MM: I believe that being a gentlewoman is a lifestyle.  I think respect and chivalry are at the core of that title.  She is someone who is always mindful of others, especially women, and selfless in her actions.  A gentlewoman is genuinely considerate, a generous provider, a fearless protector, and an unconditional lover.


TGR: Do you consider yourself a gentlewoman? Why or why not?

MM: I absolutely consider myself a gentlewoman.  I pride myself on being chivalrous and respectful to all women.  When in a relationship, I am constantly thinking of ways to make my lady feel like the queen that she is.  As a dominant woman, I welcome the role of being a protector and provider.  I’ll do whatever it takes to make her feel safe and secure, as well as be the financial breadwinner in the relationship.  And although I maintain a role of dominance, I have also not lost all aspects of my femininity, especially sensitivity and compassion. It’s a very fine line that many can’t master that’s why I believe not all ags/bois/studs are able to wear the title of a gentlewoman.


TGR: Have you always been into fashion and style?

MM: Yes, I have always been into fashion and style. I remember EVERY Friday when I as a child my mother would take my sister and I to JC Penny’s and Hudson’s to shop for trendy, fashionable clothes. During my early years, my mother instilled in us the importance of being well dressed, neat, and clean. This life lesson has surely stuck with me throughout my 32 years.


TGR: How would you describe your personal style?

MM: I’d describe my personal style as classy, simple, versatile, tasteful, and distinguished.   My style from day to day mainly depends on my mood and/or the occasion.   One day you’ll see me dressed in my “urban gear” which could vary from timbs and denims to j’s and drop crotch cargos.  The next day you may see me in my “prep wear” such as a polo shirt with khakis to a casual button down shirt and loafers.  Or the following day you may see me wearing “sophisticated attire” which may consist of an ascot, full suit, and wingtip shoes.  For me, every day is a new fashion adventure!


TGR:As a Christian, African-American lesbian I believe I am obligated to be an example to the LGBTQ community.  Unfortunately, our society has taught us to be ashamed of our sexuality and lifestyle, especially as it relates to spirituality. Sadly, this type of brainwashing has caused a lot of our LGBTQ brothers and sisters to run from the Source of ALL existence – JESUS! I’ve always tried to live my life in a way that when people look at me they see the goodness of GOD first, and then they see my pride in being African American and lesbian.  I pray that my light shines in everything I say and do and encourages someone to come/come back to JESUS!


TGR: Favorite quote

MM: My favorite quote is “To whom much is given…much is expected!” This quote always reminds me of the responsibility that my voice, my actions, and life carry. It inspires me to always be my best because my life is not about me, but it is about serving GOD by Blessing HIS people whom have placed great faith and trust upon me.


TGR: Favorite book of all-time

MM: My favorite book of all-time is The Bible.  The Bible has always been a lamp to my feet as I walk on this journey called life.   Despite my opinion that some things in The Bible don’t necessarily apply today, I do believe it is the greatest book ever written!


TGR: Name 5 of your top musical artists

MM: Keyshia Cole, Jessica Reedy, TLC, Luther Vandross, and Notorious B.I.G.

Introducing Michelle Daly

Q & A with Michelle Daly

TGR: What is the definition of a gentlewoman to you?

MD: A gentlewoman is the modern definition of style and class with in the lesbian world.  She straddles the lines of gender leaning more towards masculine.  She takes care of her lady.  Chivalrous, gallant, and extraordinarily attentive are just a few of her characteristics.  The new gentlewoman defines the “New Rules”: Informed from the past but pushing forward to the future.

TGR: Do you consider yourself a gentlewoman? Why or why not?

MD: I do consider myself a gentlewoman.  I am the BOI within my relationship and enjoy playing the more dominant role.  I enjoy doing all of the little chivalrous things for my woman, from opening car doors, to walking her to her door, and taking her on proper dates.  Born and raised on the east coast, I have the old school rules of engagement ingrained in me.  I see the world through that lens.

TGR: Do you think you have to walk differently in the world as a masculine-identified woman?

MD: I personally don’t walk any differently than I would on a regular basis.  I am confident in the way that I look, whether I’m dressed more masculine one day.  I try to just be who I want to be on a daily basis.

TGR: Have you always been into fashion and style?

MD: Yes!  Fashion and style are extremely important to me.  I feel that first impressions are everything.  I also feel that you will only attract what you put forth into the universe.  Dressing up is good manners, as Tom Ford says.

TGR: How would you describe your personal style?

MD: I would describe my personal style as an east coast dapper/preppy with a touch of edge.  I like to dress very tailored.

TGR: Why does your presence/voice matter?

MD: As a community organizer of the lesbian nightlife in Austin, Texas, I try to set a positive example for all of the other gay women in the community.  Organizing events has created some cohesion within the lesbian community here in Austin.  It’s important to be able to rely on other women in the community for advice and support, specifically now with the marriage equality movement across the United States.