Tag Archives: women in menswear

Defining a Gentlewoman

A lot of you started to ask me what’s the difference between a stud, boi and a gentlewoman. A gentlewoman is a woman that has discriminating taste in women, fashion, culture and politics. There are dapper studs and bois, but that don’t make them gentlewomen. It’s about how you treat others. It’s opening up a door for your lady. It’s giving up your seat on the subway for the elderly or a pregnant woman.

Ladies, you want to know if you have a boi or a gentlewoman. Here are a few rules a gentlewoman will follow:

  1. A gentlewoman doesn’t want a relationship with gender roles. We both work. We both clean. We both spoil each other.
  2. She wants you to make decisions. Don’t be wishy-washy. If you want to hang out with her, you can call her, too. She doesn’t alway want to make the first move.
  3. She’s a womanist. She doesn’t hate men. She believe in equality in work pay. She believes the woman not the government should control her body (and what she does with it).
  4. A ‘boi’ make her girl jealous of other women. A gentlewoman makes other women jealous of her woman.
  5. Any woman can sex you, feed you and buy you stuff. But it takes a gentlewoman to help you become a better person to build with you and work with you in building a better life together.
  6. Sending a woman a text that says “Good morning, beautiful” can change her attitude for the rest of the day.
  7. She doesn’t have time to play with you. A gentlewoman never leads her on if you knows nothing’s going to happen. She’s honest and straightforward.
  8. Don’t tell her lies just to spare her feelings. She’d rather know the truth now rather than finding out later.
  9. She expects you to actively listen to her as she will do the same for you.
  10. When on the date with you, she’ll have her phone on silent. No social media. No text messages. No phone calls unless it’s an emergency. (I struggle with this one! I have to be present with my lady especially during our quality time.)
  11. She’ll call you out the blue just to hear your voice. She’ll respond to your text in a timely manner.
  12. She’s spontaneous. Just be ready for adventure.
  13. A gentlewoman doesn’t make a promise if they’re going to break it.
  14. She believes in chivalry. Chivalry is a beautiful, genuine thing. It will never die.
  15. A real gentlewoman’s treatment of her girl never fades. She doesn’t treat her right for a few months and then stops. A true gentlewoman keeps her smiling.
  16. A gentlewoman knows to keep things good and bad between each other. She does not want everybody in your business.

Everyone is not a gentlewoman. Gentlewomen are not perfect, but we are trying to be the best version of ourselves. Do you agree with my definition of a gentlewoman? If not, how would you define a gentlewoman?

A Gentlewoman’s Guide to Affordable Yet Stylish Clothing

When talking about fashion and style, many seem to think you have to spend their whole paycheck. Not at all. As Stacy London, fashion consultant warns: “Never confuse fashion and style. Fashion relies on unattainable looks on women with unrealistic bodies. Style is about utilizing the best aspects of you.” Style is about finding what looks best of you and showing it to the world. Style is not what you can’t wear. It’s about what you can wear with swag.

Here at The Gentlewoman Redefined we want you to look YOUR best not like the Instagram pages of shedoeshim, adapperchick or sheagent. We want you to find what works for you and rock it for the world to see. It’s about what suits you (pun intended).

We all want to look good. You’ve lost a little weight, and your clothes don’t fit anymore? You’ve want a more mature look? You want to change your style a little? But you don’t want to break the bank? This is for you.

Let’s venture away from your old faithfuls of Old Navy, Gap, Banana Republic, Abercrombie & Fitch, and check out these online retailers. Those old faithfuls are cool to get a piece here or there, but you don’t want to look like a clone. It’s time to step it up when you’re stepping out and transform from a boi to a gentlwoman.

Here are a few online retailers we’ve found online that offer affordable yet stylish fashion: 6PM, Bluefly, Century 21, DSW, Gilt, H&M, Jack Threads and Uniqlo.


At 6PM, a subsidiary of Zappos, you can find all of your favorite brands in one place for 20-65%. Go on a daily guilt-free shopping spree as your indulge in the brands you love. You can find 7 For All Mankind and Seven7 jeans, Cole Haan and Versace shoes, Robert Graham and Just Cavalli button down shirts and Nike activewear for the low.


If you want to upgrade to gentlewoman status, check out Bluefly for deals in suits. Bluffly carries over 350 brands at discounts of 20 – 75%. If you’re looking for quality without killing your pockets, check out this website.

century 21

Century 21 is a department store that features designer merchandise what 40-65% off retail every day.


Designer Shoe Warehouse is the place to go for great brands at a great value every day. With thousands of shoes for men in over 400 stores nationwide, DSW is about the thrill of finding the perfect shoe at the perfect price. To top it all off, DSW Rewards means shopping comes with perks-members ear points toward $10 Rewards certificates every time they shop.


Gilt Groupe is a members-only site for sales. New sales last 36 to 48 hours and feature merchandise from a single brand or small groups of brands. Savings are up to 60% off the suggested retail price. Quantities are very limited, but you can preview items prior to sales launch.


H&M actually has a design team that creates sustainable fashion for all, always at the best price. H&M is modern, timeless, tactile and functional. Exploring the concept of style over fashion, you can find fashion pieces for the contemporary wardrobe. High-end design and quality are brought to everyone.

JackThreadsLogoAt Jack Threads they believe that looking great and feeling better shouldn’t be a chore and that a good-looking suit for your 9 to 5 shouldn’t force you to get a second job from 5 to 9. Everyday they feature a broad range of products that they can stand behind.


Uniqlo is Japan’s leading clothing retailer of casual wear. Its clothing designs become hot trends, for its team continuously monitors the latest fashion trends and styles.

But like everything, it’s how you wear it not what you wear that makes these clothes stylish.

If you know of any online retailers that can help your style and pocketbook, let us know. We want to hear from you.

Introducing Courtney ‘Spiff’ Waite

TGR: Name & Nickname

CW: Courtney Waite Nickname: Spiff

TGR: Relationship Status

CW: Single

TGR: What is the definition of a gentlewoman to you?

CW: A gentlewoman is a woman who is aware of the dominance within her but coincidentally is not diminishing the fact that she is a woman.

TGR: Do you consider yourself a gentlewoman? Why or why not?

CW: I consider myself a gentlewoman. It’s a lot of different women out there but not many are into suits and what society deems at “menswear.”

TGR: How would you describe your personal style?

CW: My personal style is just being comfortable in doing something that you vision in your head. Most of the time I have an idea of an outfit in my mind and If my wardrobe persists with the necessary items to complete this vision, then I make it happen and wear it.

TGR: Have you always been into fashion and style?

CW: I’ve always like style and fashion but was confined to a box that I put myself into. With age I grew aware of interests I did not know were there and I begin to take advantage of those interests.

TGR: Why does your presence/voice matter?

CW: I believe my presence matters because it is genuine and not generic. My voice matter as it is similar to those who wish to say things I say but are afraid.

TGR: Favorite quote

CW: “I don’t care about what people think, because people don’t think” -Kanye West. People only make sense of the things that they like.

TGR: Favorite book of all-time

CW: Rich Dad, Poor Dad by Robert T. Kiyosaki

TGR: Name 5 of your favorite musical artists.

CW: Maxwell, Musiq Soulchild, Adam Levine, Keith Sweat and Ronald Isley.

TGR: What are important qualities to you in a mate?

CW: Your mate should always be willing to listen. They should encourage you and motivate you when you have new ideas and push you when you become stagnant.

Introducing M.R. Mason

Q & A with M.R. Mason

TGR: Name

MM: M. R. Mason

TGR: What is your relationship status? (If single, are you looking?)

MM: I am in a relationship with a beautiful woman (inside and out).

TGR: What is the definition of a gentlewoman to you?

MM: I believe that being a gentlewoman is a lifestyle.  I think respect and chivalry are at the core of that title.  She is someone who is always mindful of others, especially women, and selfless in her actions.  A gentlewoman is genuinely considerate, a generous provider, a fearless protector, and an unconditional lover.

TGR: Do you consider yourself a gentlewoman? Why or why not?

MM: I absolutely consider myself a gentlewoman.  I pride myself on being chivalrous and respectful to all women.  When in a relationship, I am constantly thinking of ways to make my lady feel like the queen that she is.  As a dominant woman, I welcome the role of being a protector and provider.  I’ll do whatever it takes to make her feel safe and secure, as well as be the financial breadwinner in the relationship.  And although I maintain a role of dominance, I have also not lost all aspects of my femininity, especially sensitivity and compassion. It’s a very fine line that many can’t master that’s why I believe not all ags/bois/studs are able to wear the title of a gentlewoman.

TGR: Have you always been into fashion and style?

MM: Yes, I have always been into fashion and style. I remember EVERY Friday when I as a child my mother would take my sister and I to JC Penny’s and Hudson’s to shop for trendy, fashionable clothes. During my early years, my mother instilled in us the importance of being well dressed, neat, and clean. This life lesson has surely stuck with me throughout my 32 years.

TGR: How would you describe your personal style?

MM: I’d describe my personal style as classy, simple, versatile, tasteful, and distinguished.   My style from day to day mainly depends on my mood and/or the occasion.   One day you’ll see me dressed in my “urban gear” which could vary from timbs and denims to j’s and drop crotch cargos.  The next day you may see me in my “prep wear” such as a polo shirt with khakis to a casual button down shirt and loafers.  Or the following day you may see me wearing “sophisticated attire” which may consist of an ascot, full suit, and wingtip shoes.  For me, every day is a new fashion adventure!

TGR:As a Christian, African-American lesbian I believe I am obligated to be an example to the LGBTQ community.  Unfortunately, our society has taught us to be ashamed of our sexuality and lifestyle, especially as it relates to spirituality. Sadly, this type of brainwashing has caused a lot of our LGBTQ brothers and sisters to run from the Source of ALL existence – JESUS! I’ve always tried to live my life in a way that when people look at me they see the goodness of GOD first, and then they see my pride in being African American and lesbian.  I pray that my light shines in everything I say and do and encourages someone to come/come back to JESUS!

TGR: Favorite quote

MM: My favorite quote is “To whom much is given…much is expected!” This quote always reminds me of the responsibility that my voice, my actions, and life carry. It inspires me to always be my best because my life is not about me, but it is about serving GOD by Blessing HIS people whom have placed great faith and trust upon me.

TGR: Favorite book of all-time

MM: My favorite book of all-time is The Bible.  The Bible has always been a lamp to my feet as I walk on this journey called life.   Despite my opinion that some things in The Bible don’t necessarily apply today, I do believe it is the greatest book ever written!

TGR: Name 5 of your top musical artists

MM: Keyshia Cole, Jessica Reedy, TLC, Luther Vandross, and Notorious B.I.G.

Introducing Michelle Daly

Q & A with Michelle Daly

TGR: What is the definition of a gentlewoman to you?

MD: A gentlewoman is the modern definition of style and class with in the lesbian world.  She straddles the lines of gender leaning more towards masculine.  She takes care of her lady.  Chivalrous, gallant, and extraordinarily attentive are just a few of her characteristics.  The new gentlewoman defines the “New Rules”: Informed from the past but pushing forward to the future.

TGR: Do you consider yourself a gentlewoman? Why or why not?

MD: I do consider myself a gentlewoman.  I am the BOI within my relationship and enjoy playing the more dominant role.  I enjoy doing all of the little chivalrous things for my woman, from opening car doors, to walking her to her door, and taking her on proper dates.  Born and raised on the east coast, I have the old school rules of engagement ingrained in me.  I see the world through that lens.

TGR: Do you think you have to walk differently in the world as a masculine-identified woman?

MD: I personally don’t walk any differently than I would on a regular basis.  I am confident in the way that I look, whether I’m dressed more masculine one day.  I try to just be who I want to be on a daily basis.

TGR: Have you always been into fashion and style?

MD: Yes!  Fashion and style are extremely important to me.  I feel that first impressions are everything.  I also feel that you will only attract what you put forth into the universe.  Dressing up is good manners, as Tom Ford says.

TGR: How would you describe your personal style?

MD: I would describe my personal style as an east coast dapper/preppy with a touch of edge.  I like to dress very tailored.

TGR: Why does your presence/voice matter?

MD: As a community organizer of the lesbian nightlife in Austin, Texas, I try to set a positive example for all of the other gay women in the community.  Organizing events has created some cohesion within the lesbian community here in Austin.  It’s important to be able to rely on other women in the community for advice and support, specifically now with the marriage equality movement across the United States.

Introducing The Gentlewoman Redefined

Dear Gentlewomen (and the folks who love us):

Welcome to our new designed website! Last night (January 26, 2015) we did a soft launch of our site, www.thegentlewomanredefined.com. We’ve toiled long and hard for what we believe is a wonderful introduction of our brand.

This is not the finished product, but a snippet that allows others to see what we’re doing and where we’re going. The Gentlewoman Redefined is more than a fashion website/blog for masculine-identified women. It’s about celebrating the gentlewomen who are unapologetically themselves every day. It’s about creating a safe space where gentlewomen (and the folks who loves us) share stories and experiences. It’s where we can be free to BE without judgment, for we want to foster style, creativity, confidence and self-acceptance.

The Gentlewoman Redefined is bigger than what shoes should go with what suit. It’s bigger than this new bracelet. While we give you style tips, we want to inspire change and growth. We want every gentlewoman to know they can live out their dreams and love out loud. And every gentlewoman should command a room with their confidence and vibrant personality.

For many of us it took awhile to get to that point of self-acceptance and confidence. Society continuously tells us that something is wrong with us. Our lives are politicized and often dehumanized.  There’s no federal law that consistently protects LGBTQ individuals from employment discrimination, but we should have the same basic rights under the law and be able to celebrate our love like everyone else. 

Despite this, we dare to be bold and break the mold. We dare to be ourselves. We dare to wear men’s clothes better then men can. We dare to be stylish and dare anyone to say anything about it. We dare to exude this confidence and vibrant personality that only other gentlewomen (and the folks who love us) know.

So, what do you think? What are your first impressions? Hopefully, you’ll find the site easy to use, clean and efficient. If you have experienced any problems, please go easy on us! It’s only to be expected that one or two things don’t work quite as expected. Let us know if you spot any typos or bugs. Post your comment at the top of the post by the date.

Thank you for visiting. It is just the beginning.


A. Kenyatta Parks